You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
