Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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