I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
