Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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