Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize