I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
