apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
His nipple licking is glorious
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