Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
