i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize