I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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