I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
