dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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