At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
