You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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