I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we made out on top of his cat.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
