I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
