So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
