Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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