Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My pussy is not your playground.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
