I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
