"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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