Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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