I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
