I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
