He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
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