Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
