Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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