happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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