He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
