don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
