whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
