pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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