But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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