I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
