Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I have demons in me.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
