This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
