You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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