But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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