She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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