it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
love makes seman taste better
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
