Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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