i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
