The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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