My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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