Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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