Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
