are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I wish there were birth control emojis
Your cock deserves a montage
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize