i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
