Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
