The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize