How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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