I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
