: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So many bounce houses so little time
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
