i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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