I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
