carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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