new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
