Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
