Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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