Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
