I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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