It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize