If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
