They should really pass out barf bags in church
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
