Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize