you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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