If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
