then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Randomize