oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
