i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
