i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
