His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
