Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize