i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
