how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
