i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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